I hate everything around me now. And in case u can't sense anything, this post is typed in the moment of impulse and anger. If u are not interested in hearing me nag, whine or complain then forget it. U can jus leave right now.




Sometimes i jus wish i have the cutage to tell my cousins how much i hate them and how much i long for them to return to their own home. U can say i'm selfish but i see no point in y i shld share things in my hse with that fucking family. They have the same things as us but y must they keep using our stuff? Creating so much troubles and irritation in our lives? Y must i lend them my writing pen for them to draw? Halo! tt is for me to do my work NOT for u to fucking draw on a peice of paper. Y must we always lend them our com when they have one com and one lappy? Y? U DONNOE HOW TO FUCKING USE YOUR OWN COM IZZIT?




I'm not in e least gratefuk for them for making breakfast for us on sun mornings. Sorry but i wish to sleep longer n i hope u won't come to my hse so early and disturb us. We nv ask u to come to our hse and cooked breakfast for us. Seriously, i don find it nice of u. If u wan breakfast u can jolly well stay at ur fucking hse and cook ur own fucking dinner. Becos when u cook hear, we are the one wasking the dishes not u. U only make a mess out of it.




Sometimes i also hate myself for being so soft-hearted towards to fugly kids. I jus simply hate everything abt them. Their smile, their voice, their presence. It jus totally disgust every bit of me. They can hate me jus as much but i don give a fucking care. N i hope they hate me too. So they won have to come over to my hse and see my fugly face. There were always so many times tt i tot of moving out to live on mu won after my NS. Maybe i'll stay in e hostel during my uni times. provided tt i manage ot get into one. I rather wash my clothes, do the dishes and work part time to pay for the rent then to go home and face them. N most prob, i'll jus find a flat and rent it and nv to return home maybe only on weekends. I know it is very selfish of me but hey i jus wan to have a live of my own. A live woithout them, jus me. Afterall i only get to livee once. Finding time tt belongs to me isn't a crime. I've always hopt to collect anime figurines, anime dvds and have my own room with all my favourtie posters. Buti nv get to acheive them. Y? cos even they have to take up part of my hse.Becos of them i can't get wat i always wanted and because of them my hse is always ina mess. There are soooo many times tt i wished i cld bring my frens to my hse. But my mum always say the hse is in a mess and you cannot bring ur frens. So now, because of them i feel so restricted so tied up. i don feel at home at all. i see nthn tt belongs to me sometimes at all. They nv know jus how much inconveneice they have brought upon us, how much quarells my mum n dad had becos of them, how many times me n my sis gets so fustrated with them as well. They nv understand and they nv know.




Sometimes i jus don uderstand y can they see our helplessness and fustartion towards them? Are they jus trying to act dumb? Pretend not to see anything and continue bring them here so tt we can help them look after them and they can jus slack. Maybe moving is the best plan afterall or until i got the courage to tell them how mcuh i detest them and tt they shld jus go home where they belong and not come and impose on others. You knw what? i'm still counting the numbers of years they have been staying here. To surprise everyone, it is the 9th year..going to 10 soon. I have nv had my own home or family for 9 years. TT is pathehic n tt is what is driving me crazy.