The train has moved.
Again.

Time to move on.
And it feels good.

I'm happy again (:

I'm stuck.
Like a train that is stuck on the platform and not moving anywhere.
Like a train that suddenly brakes on the track and is stalled for 15 mins or even shorter or longer.

Too much has been happening this year.
I'm stuck on a spot and i'm not moving. But everything else around me is.
Everything is moving at a rapid pace and they seemed so blurred.

Too much is on my mind.
Family, friends and myself. My health.

I will move and I need to move.
But now i'm just like the train that is stuck.
Time is the key to everything.

No matter how much i'm trying to support my parents' decision on what they are doing now i can't help but to blame them to a certain extent. I have no idea how long will I keep supporting them or will there be a day where I'll just tell them that everything is not alright and I'm sick and tired of it.

It is kind of annoying and i'm seriously fucking pissed that the long anticipated getaway trip I've been looking forward to since June or even earlier has to be canceled. Why is life so unfair!?!? WHY!!! I SO FUCKING HATE THIS! I'm so mad at angry. I'm very upset about this too. WHY? WHY? WHY? ARRRGGH!!!

Well, some might say there is always another time for a getaway. But I'm just so fucking pissed that it has to be canceled because my parents can't pay my sis school fees and now the brother has to pay for her. WTF right. hai...seriously. I hate all these money problems. Why is it always me and my sis panicking about it?

In the past when i'm 16, i would have said " I'm just a student. Why do I have to bother about such stuff? This is too much for me to handle."
Now I'm reaching 20s, it feels like a fucking responsibility or something that i should be worrying about. Like an obligation. And you know what? I HATE IT! But what can I do? I'm not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Now all i can do is, according to e army term, lan lan suck thumb and work things out or make things work.

I'm not even sure about my own future. I have 3 choices but out of 3 only 1 is feasible. Or should I say it is not as financially draining to my family? Hai....seriously life is FUCKED UP.

yeah..cheers to FUCKED UP LIFE.

Wahahha. A funny conversation i had with my frens. hahaha. I was laughing throughout.

- S - says:
u all got the oasis song don't look back in anger
- S - says:
lol
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
L² shld have it
- S - says:
send mi
- S - says:
i lazy go find
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
i haven rip his oasis album yet
- S - says:
haha
- S - says:
lol
L² says:
hmmm
L² says:
hold on ah
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
haa
- S - says:
lol
L² says:
u owe me
L² says:
hahahaha
- S - says:
ok
- S - says:
np
- S - says:
i ask zk to satisfy u
- S - says:
lol
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
ahhaha!
L² says:
ok i cancel
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
ahhaha
- S - says:
i m sry
- S - says:
lol
L² says:
slap u
- S - says:
i m sry
- S - says:
lol
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
AHHAHA!!
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
FAN JIAN!!!
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
NO BACKBONE!!
L² says:
yes
L² says:
hahahahhaa
- S - says:
haha
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
ahhahahahahaha!!!!
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
this is so funny
L² says:
well i did cancel
L² says:
hahahahaha
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
omg..ahhahahah!!!
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
hahahahahhaha
- S - says:
buay lun
- S - says:
haha
L² says:
huh
L² says:
u buay lun me????
L² says:
i cancel again
- S - says:
okok
L² says:
hahahaha
- S - says:
i m sry
- S - says:
lol
L² says:
hahahaha
L² says:
i cancelled
L² says:
again
L² says:
hahahahhaa
- S - says:
psst
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
hahha
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
aiyoo
[g]Professional Rubbish Bin says:
hhahha
- S - says:
lol


hahaha. dumb n funny. they are my frens n i love them (:
also to protect their identity i won reveal who they are except that professional rubbish bin is me. haha.

I'm bored!!!! So bored.

Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored.

See, that is how bored i am.

Oh! and something disgusting. I woke up at 10 had my brunch at around 11 and guess what.
I HAVE YET TO BRUSH MY TEETH!

ok. gross. i know.

last thing.
I'm BORED.

I need a big pail to pour everything out. I keep having this bad vibes again. This bad worrying feeling like something very very bad will happen to someone. hai..

Another week has ended and this week has been a crazy week for me, my friends and my family members.

Went to see the MO on mon and told them about my condition and they got my blood sample and urine sample. The same day, they called me at 11p.m and told me about my alarmingly low platelets count. I was so worried that i couldn't sleep that night.

On tuesday i went to the medical centre to get my test result and passed it back to my Unit MO. After reviewing me, he and other MO decide to send me to the hospital for further check-up. The whole process was both physically and mentally draining me out. haha.I was so worried about myself but at the same time i have to assure people around me that i should be be fine and asking them not to worry so much and do not panic. I was so tired as the night before i didn't sleep well. I keep smiling to the Unit MO to tell him i'm ok and i'm accepting this very calmly. But i guess he could sense me still panicking inside. He comforted me and tell me everything should be alright too.

Then i called zk to follow me to the hospital. Was so grateful to him that he was following me and he knows i was trying my best to look normal. haha. But he knows i was going crazy and mad inside. I'm so glad he was there. After registering and waiting for a few moments at the NUH A&E emergency walk-in, a nurse called me over. She did the routine check ( blood pressure, family history of any illness, drug allergies) and told me i was a serious case and i will be send to the observation room. She doesn't want me to wait outside and knock myself or get myself cut and die bleeding to death. No one was to draw my blood or inject me with anything except for the doctor himself.

The doc himself then came and say i might be suffering form dengue. haha. He then drew my blood and proceed to send it for lab test. About 1 hr later, he came n told me i was fine. PHEW! I was so happy! Grinning from ear to ear. haha. Then i called zk in and told him the good news. haha. i was so guilty that he had to wait for me for 4 hrs.

After the drips and everything we then went for dinner and it was my treat. hahaha. We deserve it. After going back camp everyone was asking me if i'm ok and what really happened to me. I feel so loved. Knowing that so many people are concerned. haha. For the next few days, everyone was telling me not to work and rest more. hahaha. It was comforting to know that everyone care. aahha.

Ok, now i shall wait for my urine test results from the MO. Hope everything will be just right.