It is hard to describe my feelings now. Well, it is more on e negative side. More of disappointment n sadness. Didn't understand why i get tt posting. Somehow i took it as a form of insult. I find it hard to take it positively despite all e encouragements n concerns my frens gave me. I could only appear to look cheerful or let them feel i'm ok, but deep down i know there is still this aching feeling. A feeling so hard to get rid of.



But who knows, maybe i might grow to like it. And as far as i know i'm not e only one. Yet, i still can't settle myself down. It is so hard. So very hard. How i wish i cld be with e rest as well, n how i remember i use to daze abt e future i might have. But now in an instant, they're gone. PUFF! just like tt. so demoralising, how unmotivative and maybe a disgrace as well.



Maybe i've take it too hard, too personal. But there is no other way i can make myself feel better. Even esp after i heard my dad's rxn. Maybe all this is just bullshit. The system is jus so wierd and unpredictable. It is in accurate i wld say. Or maybe i thought too highly of myself. Whatever e reasons are, there is no way i can change anything, except of how i'm going to enjoy my future. It will be hard, but i'm willing to try. It is jus a short term isn't. Jus a short term.